1 Spirituality and Health: An Overview

Essentials of Contemplative Conversation (ECC)

Contemplative conversation - a process of deep, spacious listening and intuitive, 
compassionate responding to self and others that helps co-create the safe, 
contemplative space necessary to be fully present 
to all dimensions of the interaction 
and to each participant’s spiritual needs and strengths 

(Scott Barss, 2020)

The following points identify the specific elements of contemplative conversation (whether with oneself, another individual or within a group of spiritual seekers):

• In one’s own authentic style, creatively and thoughtfully identifies/offers responses that
that include deep listening to  (e.g.: “What I heard . . .” and “What comes up for me . . .”).

• Allows responses to surface gently rather than grasping for them, using silence and taking time to discern responses that will best attend to our own and others’ spiritual needs in the context at hand.

• When sharing responses with others about “What I heard . . .” consistently includes acknowledgement and validation of the content, feeling, meaning, and questions shared by others.

• When sharing responses with others about “What comes up for me . . .” includes—with discretion—resources, memories, thoughts, feelings, or questions that assist other(s) in ongoing exploration; consistently demonstrates relevant self-disclosure that deepens the level of contemplative conversation and protects one’s own and others’ personal boundaries/sense of safety; and refrains from such self-disclosure where it is not relevant to the other(s)’ exploration

• When sharing with others any personal spiritual exploration and convictions, uses terminology and imagery in keeping with one’s own worldview, using “I” language to clearly convey this worldview versus any intent to impose it on others

• When responding to others’ sharing, employs language mirroring that of the other(s) to clearly convey deep reverence and understanding of the essence of their sharing

• Demonstrates consistent recognition and acknowledgement of both “the unique” and “the universal” aspects of spirituality (each person’s individuality and the needs common to all people)

• Refrains at all times from advising, “fixing,” proselytizing, judging, evaluating, or attempting to make meaning of others’ experiences or reflections on their behalf

• Demonstrates an ongoing balance between authentically sharing one’s own spiritual journey and compassionately supporting others in sharing theirs

• Communicates in ways that actively co-create a safe, hospitable environment that attends to all participants’ spiritual needs and affirms their spiritual strengths

• Honours privacy/maintains confidentiality of information shared by other participant(s) at all times  (while sharing one’s own insights elsewhere if desired)

[Based on tenets of “Contemplative Education” and “Contemplative Dialogue”;
“Courage to Lead/Circle of Trust” principles (Parker J. Palmer); 
Journey Group Guidelines from The Prairie Jubilee Program 
for Spiritual Formation and Direction; 
and The TED Charter for Compassion (Karen Armstrong)]

(Adapted from Scott Barss, 2020)