7 Closing Reflections
If there is anything that my personal and professional experiences have affirmed for me thus far, it is that whole and healthy living, healing, learning, and relating calls us to bring our whole selves … heart, mind, body, and spirit … to all that we do and everyone we encounter. While it is humanly impossible to consistently do so, we know when we ‘get it right’… when we share moments wherein we feel balanced and whole enough to be fully present to our circumstances and relationships in authentic, transparent, and life-giving ways … whether in hard times or happy. In those transcendent moments we can sense deep within our body that we have touched one another’s hearts, minds and souls in ways that foster wholeness and healing in every way possible, for every one present.
In the spirit of ‘bringing my whole self’ to this handbook, I would like to close by sharing two poetic reflections that I hope speak to you in a multi-dimensional and holistic way. They have arisen from my own journey as a health care consumer, family member, care provider, educator, and writer. The latter has proved to be pivotal in my own health and healing, as is the case for many who find such forms of creative expression (Lampton, 2024).
In gratitude for all that I have received in support of my own and my loved ones’ healing and wholeness, I have freely shared these two poems throughout my career with health care consumers, colleagues and students in support of their journeys. I would like to do the same here. I also invite you to freely share these two poems anytime and anywhere you believe they can help foster healing and wholeness.
First, from the perspective of a health care consumer …
Accompany Me
Efficient, skillful, learned one,
On whom I must depend,
Please see the person sitting here,
Not just a wound to mend.
Please focus less on tests and tasks
And more on how I feel;
It really gives a lift to know
that your concern is real.
And ‘though it may be that it is,
I sometimes wonder when
You come and go and do your work,
But no warmth and caring lend.
And don’t forget it cuts me deep
And undermines my grace
When you advise and condescend
And don’t respect my space.
I’d really like to see a glimpse
Of you – the real you –
The one who can relate to pain
And share some insights, too.
I really wish you’d notice all
The things I leave unsaid;
I’d love to talk about them
If I were safely led.
You need to know that helping me
Takes more than concrete skill;
You need to share some competence
In listening to my will.
For I’m the one who’s living
With challenges and risk;
I need some understanding,
Not interventions brisk.
I am so very vulnerable;
I need to find my stride;
If you will walk along with me,
We’ll find wholeness, side by side.
– Karen Scott Barss (1999)
And from the perspective of a health care provider…
I Will Be Here
I will be here with you in your vulnerability,
at this time when you’re so open to all you feel and hear and see.
I’ll share with you my presence, hold you in my good intent,
that gentle, centered caring and healing thoughts are sent.
I will be here with you that you may heal your best,
that body, heart and mind and soul are nurtured and are blessed.
I’ll be mindful of a presence that transcends both you and I,
yet flows through every breath, each cell of all, afar and nearby.
I will be here with you, for whatever time we share,
accompany through suffering and the sacred moments there;
I’ll help you name your fears and hopes, rejoice the healing found,
privileged to be witness as you move through times profound.
I will be here with you as you find your strength again,
at the time when you move onward, finding meaning in your pain.
I’ll share with you my presence, hold you in my good intent,
then step back as you carry on, my healing thoughts still sent.
Karen Scott Barss, 2005
Both poems are informed by wise theories and grounding evidence base that I have had the privilege of learning, practicing and teaching throughout my educational preparation and career. ‘Accompany Me‘ is informed by psychologist George Gazda’s seminal articulation of person-centered ‘helping skills’ (Gazda, 1968). ‘I Will Be Here with You’ is illuminated by nurse Hildegard Peplau’s classic work on navigating the phases of a therapeutic [healing] relationship (Peplau, 1952). The enduring influence of their work is such a reminder that we never know the full impact of our contributions. They are needed. They do make a difference.
May you receive as much compassion and fulfillment on your journey as I have been lucky enough to receive on mine.
Karen
