3 Reconciliation

All great spirituality 

is about what we do with our pain. 

– Richard Rohr 

Reconciliation –whether with ourselves, others, the circumstances at hand, or the mystery of why things happen as they do — is an essential , but profoundly difficult part of the healing process.  The outcome and nature of that process is often uncertain – and the suffering along the way can be overwhelming at times.

Spiritual care is particularly important in the midst of such “soul pain” (Simington, 2004).  Being compassionately present to such pain, along with sources of hope and strength can help to “soften suffering” and find openings for the reconciliation process to begin (Wright & Bell, 2021).

This chapter will explore the nature of reconciliation, the many associated difficulties, and some resources that may be supportive in navigating them.

Reconciliation

In the context of promoting and restoring well-being, reconciliation is the process of resolving important matters and/or finding ways to make peace with matters that are beyond our control (Rindfleisch,  2023; Scott Barss, 2012). Often, reconciliation is needed in terms of acceptance of the immediate crisis or circumstances at hand, so that one can eventually move into a health-promoting state of peacefulness and trust (Scott Barss, 2012). Reconciliation might also involve an identified need for healing or forgiveness within a relationship or oneself (Rindfleisch, 2023).

At a national level, we are (or need to be) engaged in much needed truth-telling and reconciliation in support of healing the harms done to Indigenous Peoples by colonization and related oppressive policies, both past and present (Truth & Reconciliation Commission of Canada).  Senator Murray Sinclair speaks here of its meaning in that context:

What Is reconciliation?  Senator Murray Sinclair Truth & Reconciliation Commission of Canada (TRC).

Reconciliation & Well-Being

Given the many spiritual needs associated with the process of reconciliation (to say nothing of the many unmet needs within every other dimension of health when individuals are abused, marginalized and oppressed), reconciliation (or lack thereof) can have a profound impact on individual, family, and communal well-being (Scott Barss et al, 2019). True reconciliation involves ‘making things right’ by making reparations when harm has been done and actively working to address injustices or inequities that compromise individuals’ or communities’ health (TRC, 2015; Yellowhead Institute, 2023).

Of note in the spirituality and health literature is strong evidence that forgiveness can improve health in individuals with a variety of physical and psychological conditions, as long as each individual’s readiness and understandings of forgiveness are honoured by those around them (Rindfleisch, 2023).  The John Templeton foundation has invested significantly in related research. You may wish to download a copy of their related report:

The Science of Forgiveness_final.pdf (templeton.org)

Twelve Step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous have recognized for decades how central spirituality is to the healing process.  Each step involves inner work at a spiritual level, with several steps addressing the many facets of reconciliation:

Resources abound in support of forgiveness, grieving, and other forms of reconciliation.  A few are included in Appendix C: References and Resources, in addition to the contemplative options below. In relation to the latter, several are provided, given the many life circumstances involving reconciliation and the many facets of reconciliation itself.