4 Understandings
I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values
– and follow my own moral compass –
then, the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.
– Michelle Obama
Our ‘under-standings’ are like massive rocks we stand upon for support and strength – rocks that remain solid, even though, over time, they are weathered and re-shaped by the adverse conditions we may face. While many other factors beyond our control are at play, our understandings or beliefs can be powerful catalysts for optimal healing (Wright, 2017; Wright & Bell, 2010; Lipton in Aufenthie, 2014). Yet, the vulnerability and uncertainty associated with suffering can shake us loose from the very foundation that may sustain us when we need it most. Sometimes that grounding is undergoing a necessary shift – and we need a little extra support to ‘understand’ in new and life-giving ways. It is essential for people to receive spiritual care that respectfully helps us to explore beliefs that may be blocking or complicating healing. Similarly, spiritual care that offers opportunity to explore and draw upon one’s healthy, strengthening beliefs is a must in maintaining or re-gaining solid footing, navigating suffering and supporting healing.
This chapter invites us to listen for our own and others’ beliefs, along with how those beliefs influence health and healing. Reconciliation and transformation of distressing or unhelpful beliefs can significantly contribute to the process of healing. Likewise, mobilization of our sustaining or comforting beliefs can promote healing, whether it be healing into full recovery, healing amidst chronic/ongoing health challenges, or healing into dying.
Beliefs About Healing, Suffering, Illness, and Health
Our beliefs about the nature of healing, suffering, illness and health can greatly influence our ability to tap into our own resilience and/or to reach out to others for support as we navigate hard times. Such beliefs can also have a significant impact on our capacity to effectively support others when they encounter difficulties or illness. Dr. Lorraine Wright, a family nurse, therapist, and professor emeritus with the University of Calgary, has done extensive related work, specifically as it relates to spirituality. She offers related insights in this video:
As the healing process unfolds, part of our spiritual work is to ‘make meaning’ of what we have experienced. This work is closely related to that involved in ‘reconciliation’. As such, it is again vital that individuals and families be supported to make their own meaning of their painful circumstances when they are ready. Otherwise, their process may be circumvented or thwarted. Worse yet, an individual or family may experience further trauma through being approached in a hurried, intrusive, or coercive manner (Henke, 2021; Jenkinson, 2023; Wright, 2015). Whether giving and/or receiving care, it is essential that we do our inner work so that we can compassionately and patiently navigate grief, loss, sorrow, and suffering – and then be safe and helpful in supporting others to navigate theirs.
Contemplation & Community: Understandings
Are there particular personal beliefs or practices sustaining you/offering you comfort/inspiring you at this time? Who or what can can help you draw on these beliefs for strength?
Are you aware of any beliefs that you find distressing or are detrimental to your well-being? If so, how do you wish to address them? Who and what can help you to eventually transform those beliefs into ones that promote wellness?
Are there particular spiritual, religious, or cultural influences that influence or inform your understandings? How do you feel about these influences? Do you need assistance to protect or free yourself from any detrimental influences? How can you surround yourself with health-promoting influences?
What do you believe about the nature of suffering? How do you think these beliefs are influencing your current healing process?
What would you say gives your life meaning? Is there any meaning that you make in relation to difficulties or painful times you have faced? If so, what? How does this influence the way you navigate daily life and future difficult circumstances?
Have such experiences ever prompted you to ponder your overall life’s purpose(s)? If so, what is your sense about it/them? How does this sense of purpose influence your well-being? Your approach to difficult times (past and/or present)? Your overall approach to life?
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The below video offers ‘tips’ that may elicit rich reflection around your overall ‘core’ beliefs. As you listen it may be helpful to explore the following questions, along with any others that come up for you:
Did you have any response/reaction to the idea of ‘tips’ or ‘how-to’s about overcoming limiting beliefs? If so, what did you notice? What related insights arise?
Was their any guidance you found helpful? Unhelpful? How would you like to respond and/or follow up?
How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs | Being Well Podcast (youtube.com)
As always, consider with whom you might wish to experience and/or debrief this chapter’s ‘Community & Contemplation’ activities/reflections.
