5 Searching

Definitions & Benefits

Retreats are life-giving spaces to which we can withdraw for quiet reflection, contemplation, and rejuvenation (Gill et al., 2019).  Time spent in retreat (whether alone, with others, and/or in silence) fosters spiritual reassessment and renewal, while actively contributing to health restoration in ways previously discussed in Chapter 1. These health benefits have been noted to continue for a considerable period of time following retreat if an overall balanced lifestyle is retained (Gill et al.; Naidoo et al., 2018).

Planning, Preparing, & Experiencing Retreat 

• Consider what retreat setting best resonates with your worldview/meets your needs at this time. A retreat can serve many individualized purposes such as spiritual replenishment, engaging in discernment, deepening awareness, finding solace, attaining a sense of calm/peace, and attuning to a sense of unity with others/the world/the sacred (Gill et al.; Naidoo et al.; Smith & Zhang, 2011; Whitecomb, 2006). Consider what purpose(s) relate to your current spiritual searching and overall well-being – and which setting would best support you in pursuing your purpose(s).

• Remember you need not incur any expense. You can create your own retreat in your own/someone else’s home/cabin, outdoors, or even within a health care facility if you have the necessary support while you are there.

• If you are considering a retreat center as the right setting for you, research those that are geographically and financially accessible to you, keeping in mind ways to reduce your costs such as attending online-based retreats or sharing travel expenses with others.  (See related ‘Contemplation & Community’ questions at the end of this chapter.)

• Consider whether you would like to retreat in solitude or in the company of one or more people with whom you feel very comfortable. You may wish to attend a structured retreat with a planned program. Such retreat programs will usually integrate times of solitude into the event.

• Consider how much silence you would like to integrate into your retreat. Silence can be particularly effective in helping you move into a deeply restful, receptive ‘space’ wherein some of your best ‘searching’ may occur (Johnson, 2009; Smith & Zhang, 2011).  You may wish to include a meal in silence so you can experience contemplative eating (ie: being fully present to the tastes, aromas, textures, sights, and sounds of taking food into your body for its nourishment and sustenance).

• If you choose to do all or part of your retreat in silence …

… and you plan to go to a retreat center, check with their contact person about recommendations for letting others at the center know that you are in silence/solitude – and how they typically address greeting/not greeting others who cross your path while there. (It is common practice in most retreat centers to make known to all participants if you are in silence so others are not inadvertently trying to draw you into conversation.  As such, it is often accepted protocol to avoid eye contact as a way of respecting and preserving the silence/solitude.  However, if this feels uncomfortable for you, you may wish to offer eye contact and a smile or nod upon greeting others.  The key point is to not feel you need to engage in any contact that takes you out of your sense of ‘inner stillness’.)

… consider whether you wish to have someone available to meet with during or at the end of your period of silence.  Arranging guidance/support will be particularly important if this is your first experience of extended silence – and/or if this is a vulnerable time for you. Breaking silence for such contemplative interactions can be a vital part of any silent retreat – both safe AND enriching, provided it is done with the person/people who are right for you. (You may wish to involve someone from your own life who you trust with the details of your spiritual searching.  Many retreat centers have spiritual directors/companions or meditation teachers also available to meet with you, if you wish.)  It is recommended that you inquire ahead of time as to any additional costs and arrangements.

• You may wish to take with you on retreat …

… a notebook or journal to jot any key observations or insights that emerge.

… any other materials you need to create a contemplative space or to engage in contemplative practice or creative expression that will nurture your spirit and support your current ‘searching’  (books, symbols, art/craft supplies,  favorite ‘comforts’/sources of inspiration).

… the ‘Community & Contemplation’ questions from the end of each chapter in this handbook, should some of them be helpful in prompting relevant exploration.

• Plan ahead so that the remainder of your day following your retreat allows for a gradual transition out of the experience. It can be quite ‘jarring’ to enter your daily routine, responsibilities, and interactions without such a pre-planned transition period; without it, you may risk compromising the restorative benefits associated with your retreat (Gill et al.).

• Prior to or at the very beginning of your retreat, it may be helpful to set an intention or two about what questions or concerns you wish to ‘be with/present to’ during your retreat. Particularly if this is your first experience of retreat, your intention may be to simply experience what that is like for you, along with whatever ‘comes up’ – and to let the process guide your intentions from there.  You may also find it helpful to identify and keep a related motto, mantra, or symbol in mind throughout your retreat, while remaining open to the possibility that additional or alternate ones may emerge during the process.

• Keep in mind that your intentions need to tend to your physical, mental and emotional needs, as well as your spiritual ones.   As such, it may be helpful to identify a very general mantra that reminds you of overall guidelines/best practices for positively experiencing retreat (e.g. “Eat well; rest well; pray well” (Prairie Jubilee Program for Spiritual Formation and Direction); or an adaptation of the former such as “Eat well; rest well; BE well”).  The most important considerations are that it speaks to you/your convictions and reflects the guidelines provided here/in other evidence-informed resources for a healthy, safe retreat.

• During your retreat, engage in the contemplative practice(s) of your choice, choosing those practices (or, perhaps, letting them choose you) as you listen deeply within and around you to what draws you/speaks to you in each moment of your retreat.

• You may find it helpful to establish a ‘rhythm’ between a variety of contemplative practices (eg: between walking, sitting, standing, or lying practices; between reading & journaling/other forms of creative expression). Often, a minimum of 20 minutes engaging in each practice is helpful in completely immersing in the experience/the insights that each practice may bring.  The more experience and comfort you have with retreat, the longer you may find you can stay fully present to a particular contemplative practice. As with any contemplative practice, remember to choose an ‘anchor’ to which you can return any time you experience distraction (e.g. your breath; your feet connecting to the floor/ground below you; a favorite symbol or view).

• Consider the time of retreat as an opportunity to be fully present to each moment and to the deepest part of yourself and whatever else you consider to be spiritual or sacred in each moment. Be aware of everything about each moment – each sensation (sounds, sights, smells, tastes, textures, temperatures, bodily responses), emotion, and thought.  When you find any of them taking you out of the present moment, bring your attention back to your chosen ‘anchor’ and rest with it/simply ‘be in the moment’ again and again.  Remain attentive to ‘being’ vs. ‘doing’, keeping kind curiosity at the center of it all.

• As you rest in ‘being’, you may notice more and more about each moment and your response to it. You may also notice insights bubbling up. Simply observe, take note in whatever way is helpful.

• Engage in any contemplative practice that helps you fully and richly experience each moment. It may be helpful to consider the time of silence/solitude as a ‘date’ with a loved one … your ‘loved one’ being that deepest part of yourself and whatever else within and around you that you consider to be spiritual or sacred in each moment of that solitude (Carol Ann Gotch, Prairie Jubilee Program, personal communication, Sept. 2008).  As such, you would only engage in activities that keep you fully attentive to/in touch with those dimensions you treasure – in a way that involves them & keeps you connected to them, just as you would a ‘date’ whom you treasure.  For example, if you were going to read a book on a date, you would only do so with your loved one, rather than in a way that ignores or disengages from your date.  (As such, reading contemplatively is important, pausing frequently to ‘sit with’ and integrate into the present moment what you have read).  Similarly, if you are going to journal, you would do so only to the extent that it engages the deepest part of yourself fully in the present moment.  Therefore, you may find you only jot brief observations and insights during your retreat so you can recall and further reflect upon them later on.

• If you do find yourself feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed during retreat, remember the guidelines provided in Chapter 2 for contemplative practice during difficult times: Place particular emphasis on …                                         … repetition of comforting, compassionate words/measures/practices.                                                                           … engaging in movement and expressive/creative practices.                                                                                               … contacting trusted support people (with whom, ideally, you have made pre-arrangements for availability.)

• Following your retreat, remember to …

… allow yourself a gradual transition back into your daily routine and responsibilities, ensuring you have time to integrate ongoing rest and reflection that can maximize the wellness benefits emerging from your retreat.

The below resources may offer additional ideas for your retreat(s):

 Creating a Home Retreat: Finding Freedom Wherever You Are [FREE Half Day Retreat Included] – Tara Brach         

 Sheltering in place/arizona.edu.

(While the last resource above was prepared in the context of Covid 19, it is applicable to the many health conditions that require us to ‘shelter in place’ at any time.  Whether at home or in a health care facility, we may find ways to embrace this unanticipated opportunity to experience the healing benefits of retreat, in whatever setting we find ourselves.)

NOTE:

Throughout any ceremony, retreat, or other shared process of ‘searching’ take precautions to ensure your own and others’ safety (e.g. infection control protocol; staying in safe locations & relationships; trusting your own instincts as to what is safe & helpful; having trusted supports available as needed).